Trying To Make Sense From A Harebrained World

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I’ve got to try and get a grip on this horse-shit called life”.


My parents were the antithesis of teetotalers, so by the time I was born I already had a hangover. Fortunately, because my Father had, had a few himself (hangovers), he figured that I’d be happier if he let me have a bit of the hair-of-the-dog, so, on every third trip to the fridge he would bring me back a cold one, and he was right - I was a very happy child.

But that didn’t last very long because after enough hangovers and headaches, I began to realise that I had incarnated into the wrong family environment. Sure, I was looking to be spiritually “uplifted” , but not with that spirit. And I knew there was something wrong if it meant having to throw up in the process.

My parents, bless them, tried their best to get me to see the Light (beer) but my little body revolted and my soul had to intervene to get me out of there. Thankfully, my parents weren’t very hospitable to my soul, mainly because he didn’t drink, so they didn’t trust him. They figured he was just some sort of do-gooder from another planet (all two of him) because they often had hallucinations of Siamese aliens in their stupefity, not to mention the winged pink elephants which they thought were angels delivering spiritual insights

Anyway, my soul couldn’t hang around with me for too long, people were starting to talk and God was in no mood for dealing with another wrong-spirited human as he had His hands full with all the Irish people turning up at the gates of heaven, because Jesus said they had to go through the narrow gate. The problem was, the narrow gate had been shut for some time because not one single human being was good enough to enter through it, even though, Abraham said he would vouch for some of them. Anyway, he had enough trouble with his own son who was getting plastic surgery on his neck after a very close call with a knife.

Sorry. This is supposed to be about me, my ego and my Damascus experience, which, caused me to give up the liquid spirit and go in search of the holy spirit.

Well, to this day I still haven’t found it. I’ve travelled to the far ends of the world and my cousin even went and had a look for me on the top of Mt Everest. Nothing. Well, not nothing, exactly.  I have managed to learn quite a lot about the way these people live. You know, the rest of humankind. And I must say, I’m glad I’ll soon be out of here.

My soul tells me he’s got a nice new vehicle lined up for us to drive when I’m ready, which, I think is a 2056 model, electric thingy, which should be nice and peaceful, for a change, after this beat-up, 1947 booze guzzler we drove in with.

I found this with the help of my partner and companion of thirty-years, Laureli, whom I met in 1988 and just recently separated from, due the fork in the road we were travelling along, beckoned us each in separate directions.


About My Ego